perfidy

beer

.... which is 'liquid bread,' you silly bunt!

'Liquid bread' is a euphamism or nickname for beer. If I liquify bread, it isn't beer. Not for a long time, and probably not even then.

Beer is beer, and never the twain shall meet.

Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but you can make wheat beer, and I'd be willing to bet that you could make an undoubtedly vile but valid brew out of bread. After all, bread contains loads of available starch that the bread yeast has not consumed. And if you make the bread with diastatic malt powder, you could probably even manage to convert lots of the starches to fermentables via enzymatic activity, which could then be combined with, say, an ounce or two of Tettnanger Tettnanger hops, some coriander and orange peel, and a few billion cells of a Flemish strain of S. Cerevisea for an undoubtedly vile but drinkable good time.

Not that I'm going try this or anything, but I'm allergic to categorical rejections today.

Also, I have a kick ass recipe for beer bread with spent brewing grains. Anybody want it?

I'd rather drink pruno.

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

... but fascinating. Whenever I get all worked up about my prrrrecious homebrew and whether I done gone and ruined it, I remind myself that humans have been making the stuff since before there were wheels to drive drunk on.

As revolting as it is, Pruno is proof that getting hammered is as natural as, well, vomiting after drinking Pruno.

What I don't get is... why the ketchup? For the corn syrup? It can't be for *flavor*.

... although the beer geek in me clinically notices that the alcohols produced by such a process as making Pruno would be of the heavier variety such as fusels, nasty things which are responsible for giving cheap Tequila its vile taste as well as its propensity for nasty, nasty hangovers. I mean, I'm no snifter-totin' aesthete (yes, he is (yes, I am)), but you gotta REALLY want a buzz if you're gonna drink something that tastes like the water at the bottom of a Jersey City Dumpster and contains those evil little molecules.

Well, that's why they drink it in prison, I suppose. Even bums have access to nighttrain and thunderbird, which compared to pruno would be Château Lafite Rothschild '59.

As for the ketchup, would the vinegariness of it have some effect on the fermentation process?

None. The mixture is acid enough with the fruit to begin with. I bet you that the ketchup is there for the same reason we always put one can of Milwaukee's Best Lite in our 35-gallon Godzilla Punch recipes back in clown college... because that's how we did it the first time.

There's nothing like the snuggling down in the warm glow of hallowed tradition, eh?

If youse guys are interested in recipes for alcoholic beverages, scroll to the bottom of the Carnival and check out what my neighbors used to bring back from West Virginia.

Holy crap! A moonshine recipe! And a DIY still setup!!

Man... I'm a piker.

I think the thing that has held me back from really getting into beer brewing is the fact that beer - really excellent beer - can be had for cheap at the local beverage store. The opportunity cost of me spending my time brewing beer is very high.

However. I can't get moonshine at the local state liquor store. Heh.