buckethead, you could have been a brain surgeon

Buckethead Buckethead

No, really. From this nifty and cleverly named job predictor thingy I picked up from Rocket Jones I learned that I could, even should have been a Brain Surgeon. Sadly, when I enter my actual, full name rather than my admittedly goofy nom de net it tells me that my true vocation is Circus Freak. Playing around a bit, I confirmed my suspicions about my long detested middle name:

Walter, your ideal job is a Rear End of Panto Cow

I don't know exactly what a Panto Cow is, but it can't be good.

To avoid any potential shyness on the part of my coworkers, here is what they should be doing:

  • Johno, your ideal job is a Office Gopher. Strangely, that is very similar to what he actually does. This thing is good!
  • Patton, your ideal job is a teasmaid. I'm not sure what that is precisely, but it sounds vaguely gay.
  • Geeklethal, your ideal job is a Dentist. I am sure what that is precisely, and it sounds vaguely gay.
  • Ross, Your ideal job is a Professional Tramp. No doubt about it, a bit swish. And slutty, too. I wonder if they've nationalized tramps in Canada?

Well, there you have it. Three fags, a gopher and a brain surgeon. That's us in a nutshell.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 7

§ 7 Comments

2

So the name I go by on several online communities is "tallman" When I plug that in, I get:

tallman, Your ideal job is a Emperor of all the world.

HUA! When I plug in my real name, I get:

Mark, Your ideal job is a porn director.

Score. This just gets better and better. Following your lead, I also spring for using my (admittedly less suspicious middle name) and get:

Stephen, Your ideal job is a Alien investigator.

So I'm either emporer of all the world, a porn director, or an Alien investigator? Sign me up. I'll put in my two weeks on Monday.

Mark Mark

3

B:

This">http://bitrot.net/blog/hello/116/2072/640/DSCF2052.jpg]This, apparently, is a Panto Cow

For what it's worth, being the rear end of such a device seems no better than my newfound gaiety.

I'm going to quit going by my full first name, the one my sainted mother always used to use when yelling at me, because, in a coincidence worthy of X-Files, I, too end up designated Office Gopher.

However, under just plain "Mike Patton", I turn out to as a Prime Minister. Which, well, sounds better than the ass end of a felt cow.

My middle name alone makes me a lumberjack, and my first name only makes me a ping pong ball inspector.

So there's clearly some real science behind it.

Patton Patton

5

Fascinating. If I go by my given name or my full name, I get lame-ass jobs like "ping pong ball inspector" or "astrologer." If I use my highly suspect middle name -- Myron -- I am a Brain Surgeon.

So there you go. I'm 1/3 brain surgeon.

Johno Johno

6

I win.

"Murdoc, Your ideal job is a Emperor of all the world."

Now that I'm in charge...

First rule: No poofdahs!

Murdoc Murdoc

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