perfidy

And now, the Ministry of Minor Perfidy is pleased to bring you: "Tales From The Archives."

While going through his emails today, GeekLethal (who sadly cannot be with us at the moment as he is deep in, erm, negotiations with some of the dark forces assisting us with our software upgrade and data transfer: who knew the guys at Demiurge Data Mining would actually be demigods? Awfully touchy about the tentacles, is all I can say... you got tentacles, you should expect a remark now and then...) came across the following exchange between he and I about college admissions.

The discussion was spurred by this story from CNN about how legacy admissions at colleges are under fire on the grounds that they are unfair because they are racist.

GL sez:

I don't know many admissions people, but it is common knowledge that there are only so many spaces in a freshman class. Once you admit your athletes (through coaching channels), your rich kids development channels), your legacies (maybe development, maybe faculty/dean), your kids who maxxed SATs, etc, you're left with a bunch of applicants who are largely alike on paper- good test scores (or they wouldn't be applying), good extracurriculars, etc.

If you're one of those "alike" kids, you're best hope is that you are seen as sufficiently underprivileged in the eyes of the particular admissions officer who's reading your app, and harbors some appreciation of social justice. And THAT is where race can be a huge factor....especially if you are the proper one. Poor white or asian kids need not apply; ditto Jewish applicants (Lord knows there are enough of THOSE with college degrees around)(I do know this all differs depending on whether it�s Tiny College or Big U).

But I have a solution: I propose that White and Asian folks (of all religions) be denied all higher ed for the next 4 centuries. In addition, no one of European extraction can be considered for employment in any level of government or agencies thereof, to include services such as police and fire. Current members of those groups, including the judiciary and faculty, will be allowed to either serve remaining elected time or retire early. Jesse Jackson will create an agency that will develop a system to determine the "whiteness" of each member of the population, to ensure no closet Euros slip by. Finally, at the end of 4 centuries, these restrictions will be abolished as at that time we will all be equal; Utopia will have ensued.

Would that make everybody happy?

Then I says to GeekLethal I says:

GL, I knew you'd understand. Only when all have suffered like certain ancestors of some people may have suffered in an incompletely recalled much mythologized past, will the karmic balance of the world be set right. It's OBVIOUS.

My only question... I have family who came from England with the Mayflower, so there is a fair chance that at some point some ancestor oppressed an indigenous person. But, a greater number of my ancestors came from Wales, where they were miners, crushed under the heel of landed aristocracy and the English alike. Others, from Germany, where they fled religous oppression. Ditto my Hueguenot forbears. How does this calculus work out?

Does the putatative oppression of a New England indigenous person by one subset of my ancestors make me wholly responsible for this act, or only 1/16th responsible? And, as the descendent of oppressed minorities myself, am I empowered to claim reparations in money or kind from the Church of England, the Duke of Llangollwyn, the descendents of some functionary of the French Republic, and the distant relations of Rheinlander monarch in the early 19th century, and myself in turn because of my dual English-Welsh background? Do I have to kick my own ass? Because then, I'd have to kick it again in reparations for the first time, and I'm kind of a pussy and don't think I want to do that.

If you ask me, this whole dealie sounds like an awful administrative task, especially considering that the Germans would also be involved in a mutal reparations scheme with the descendents of Constantius, and vice versa, the Welsh in a mutual scheme with the English, Gauls, Saxons, and whatever Celtic tribe used to live up the river, the English with most of the known universe, and the French with themselves over that whole Reign of Terror thing.

Who's gonna handle the paperwork then? Huh? HUH? And, when they get rich managing this paperwork, do we get to collect reparations back?

You know what? Legacies should be automatically DENIED admission... every family should have an equal chance, over time, to go to Duke. No, better yet, no college should be allowed to refuse admission to any applicant for any reason, whatsoever. And it should be FREE. Harvard education, here I come!!! Only when college is available to all indiscriminately, and for free, will we all truly suckle at the teat of liberty. And you can quote me on that.

Get well soon, GeekLethal. I'm sure we can find a gnostic chirurgeon on the somewhere on the payroll to take care of the internal damage. Perhaps the Babylon office, if anyone survived...