Me Loved You Long Time
Long posted along Korea's 38th parallel, America's 2nd Infantry Division has kept watch over the volatile Demilitarized Zone. Forward elements of the division harbor no illusions about their role in a new Korean conflagration, planning to act as a "trip-wire" to delay the invading North long enough for the rest of the country to enact its defense plans. For decades overpaid policy-type smart people have credited the 2IDs Korean presence as the cornerstone of a credible deterrent to North Korea, with the added benefit of being really irritating to China.
So we shouldn't be at all surprised that, as part of the continuing effort to refine and improve not only the peninsula's defense posture, but the American Fighting Man, lap dancing at clubs frequented by 2ID soldiers will be prohibited.
The article goes on to explain how unit leaders decided to define lap dancing. Associated research ultimately concluded that dancers are "typically of the opposite sex", and lap dances are often "done at close quarters". Leadership then took measures to ensure that no one could possibly enjoy any of it.
That's right kids. It's not more range time, or language study, or PT, or ROK liasons, the SOFA agreements, or the KATUSA program that needs improvement. It's eliminating simulated copulation that will really give us the edge over the commies.
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Naturally, for our fighting
Naturally, for our fighting men must preserve the purity of essence of their precious bodily fluids, and not go spilling their seed in the vicinity of Korean trollops like some Oriental Onan!
Good God, GeekLethal, for a former soldier you just don't get the [em]big picture[/em] sometimes. This is about morals. This is about ethics. This is about making sure that damp underwear, foot fungus, canvas cots and contemplation of the goodness of the Christian God are the sum total of the experience of the American fighting man in between the short episodes of mortal terror that are their raison d' etre. The army's not about fun. It's about unnecessarily bureaucratic solutions to nonexistent problems of soldierly jollies.
If they spill their seed will-he-nill-he, can they not be expected to do the same with their precious ammunition?
At least they're not going up
At least they're not going up against giant robots.
I thought it was bad when the
I thought it was bad when the candy-ass admiral commanding our cruise around South America only gave us Cinderella Liberty. Midnight is when things get STARTED in South America.
Well, it's great to know that the Army has found a way to develop a more advanced candy-ass. I'm sure that soon the 2ID's moral will be even lower than whale turds.
Mmmm....Korean trollops..
Mmmm....Korean trollops...ggggggggggg