My Considered Endorsement

Upon prodding from Nat at I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts, who is an avowed and active partisan on behalf of Wesley Clark, I hereby endorse my choice for the next President of the United States, Ronnie James Dio. Dio is the only candidate to truly address the issues important to working-class America, and the only one truly qualified. To wit:

  • Has experience managing large organizations
  • Extensive public speaking and diplomacy experience
  • The only candidate to know first-hand what drugs can do to our youth
  • Slayed the dragon
  • The only candidate who has had to put aside a political career to feed his family
  • Can rock out and sing really fucking high

Visit his website, dioforamerica.com and see what he has to say on the issues.

  • On health care: advocates universal healthcare to all: "No more forms and working shit jobs while sick"
  • On gay marriage: "Rob Halford wants it, so it's cool with me."

I hereby cast my support behind the only candidate that can not only beat Bush, but vanquish him with silver sword in hand over a bitchen guitar solo from Vivien Campbell, Ronnie James Dio. 

Dio For America

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 4

§ 4 Comments

1

Correction: I am a supporter of the Draft Will Clark movement. Will Clark served in the Major Leagues as a first baseman. He was the top player in the 1984 US Olympic Baseball Exhibition Team which defeated a coalition of Carribean and Far Eastern teams. In 1989 he led the National League in hitting during the San Francisco Giants pennant drive. No fans were killed as a result of the earthquake or the disastrous series with the Oakland As. He has a lifetime .303 BA and 284 home runs.

4

Will Clark has proposed a salary reform plan that will benefit small market teams like the Cleveland Indians by taxing aggregate team salaries over $100 million per year. Because Baseball no longer makes money, this plan is deficit neutral. Besides, who better than a former overpaid baseball player to deal with the problem of rampant spending.

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