perfidy

From Norway comes a bizarre story about Stalin's crab army. That's right. Stalin's crab army.

See, in the 1930s, the Man of Steel caused some Pacific giant crabs (aka Kamchatka Crabs) to be brought to the waters of the Barents Sea, where they have been living ever since. In the 1990s, for reasons nobody can discern, their population exploded, and since then an army of millions of 25-pound, 3-food-wide crabs have been marching down the coast of Norway, eating anything in their path. In their wake is an underwater desert in which no multicelled living thing is to be found, and apparently the crabs can live off any food source under any conditions. And yes, the Stalin-crabs are red.

Creepy, weird, and troubling. Among other things, the article suggests that the crabs may be partially responsible for the continued low population of cod in the Atlantic, as the crabs seem to eat everything below cod in the food chain. As well as everything else. And at this point, ecologists see nothing standing between them and Gibraltar.

The worst (best?) part? The giant Commie crabs are delicious. Norwegians are caught between horror that their waters are the scene of a veritable piscene holocaust and delight that the perpetrators fetch top dollar and go so incredibly well with a lemon wedge and drawn butter.

Moral of the story: dont f**k with Mother Nature, but really don't f**k with Papa Joe, who seems to have macabre powers of crustaceous revenge from beyond the grave.