Your #1 choice for quality novelty chess sets
Somewhere in the rainbow of tacky products, sandwiched between commemorative coins for events of only passing interest, and "collector's editions" fast food beverage cups, lies the novelty chess set.
In modern tymes, the game of kings is so widely accessible that it has become just another victim of mass tackiness. Long reserved for the wealthy and noble who didn't have to work for a living and had time for trivial pursuits, chess can now be no less attractive than your plastic dinnerware that celebrates "Fifty Years of the Dragster".
I don't play chess. That is, I can, I'm just not very good at it, and have nothing personally invested in keeping at least marginally attractive chess pieces around. But just out of a sense of respect for a game of such rich and dignified history, I just can't accept things like The Animal Chess Set:
Baboon to Zebra 7...oh hell with it...
Or the Farmland Set:
Is it the pig that moves like an L, or is that the dairy cow...?
Or the Basketball Set:
Maneuvering your big balls onto the opposing cheerleader- a classic chess strategem.
But it doesn't stop there. You got about a dozen variants of cats vs. dogs. You got evil vs. good. You got skeletons vs, I believe, other skeletons. Taking it forward, the Ministry recommends these new chess sets for future development:
Bloods vs. Crips
Sunni vs. Shiite
Godzilla vs. Megalon
John Birch Society vs. COMINTERN
Boy Scouts vs. Girls Scouts
Aryan Brotherhood vs. MS13
Ford vs. Chevy
Bananas vs. Plantains
Typhoid vs. Penicillin
8 ½ x 11 vs. Legal
Coke vs. Pepsi
Paperclips vs. Staples
Tequila vs. Stomach Lining
Sutures vs. Scissors
Hawking vs. Newton
Guggenheim vs. Metropolitan
Turds vs. Daisies
Don't let your trailer's walls limit your imagination the way you let it limit your hygiene, nutrition, and job prospects. With a bit of imagination, the tacky possibilities for embarrassing chess sets are endless!
[wik] I forgot to add that I know what I'm getting Minister Buckethead for Chrsitmas this year: the Endangered Species set, complete with pandas as pawns. Extinction with every move!
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That endangered species set
That endangered species set made me kind of hungry. Speaking of which, Buckethead, what tasty meat will you make us the next time we break bread together? I'm thinking we should get us some buffalo.
Let not your heart be
Let not your heart be troubled, GL--we have been known to loose an unseemly snicker over the fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi is the queen of the Light Side, and Darth Vader the queen of the Dark Side.
B,
B,
Well, it's a bitch retooling your precision Chinese thermomold extrusion equipment to approximate manatees as chess pieces, what with their odd shapes and, harder still to model, their relentless thirst for human blood.
Ken,
Father teaches son time honored game of games by using images much more accessible to a young boy than traditional ones.
Way to go sentimental and kill my snark.
Maybe- if they had any juice
Maybe- if they had any juice left after playing the Anime set:
http://store.shop72.com/ancochset.html
If they release a Pirate V.
If they release a Pirate V. Ninja set, I'll buy one.
Hmm, maybe I culd buy a pirate themed set, and a ninja themed set and have TWO...
GL, I appreciate the thought,
GL, I appreciate the thought, but I must point out that there are no manatees in that set.
My folks gave me a Star Wars
My folks gave me a Star Wars chess set for Christmas last year; I use it to teach my oldest son.
Really, it should be Newton v
Really, it should be Newton v. Liebniz. But you could also have:
Tastes Great v. Less Filling
OSU v. Michigan
Bread v. Butter
The Boston Red Sox v. Fate
Germany v. The Entire Fucking World
Warner Bros. Cartoons v. Disney Cartoons
Cast of Dallas v. Cast of Dynasty
Oh, and how could I forget?
Oh, and how could I forget? The cast of ST:TNG v. the original Star Trek cast. That'd have the fanboys creaming in their pants.