perfidy

Apropos of nothing in particular, I thought I'd let everyone know that there is a turkey hen (or whatever lady turkeys are called) living in my area. She used to have some gal-pals; lately I've only seen a single one. Like yesterday, when she was slowly walking past my truck in the cold morning drizzle, slurping up worms or ticks or CHUDS or whateverfuck bubbles to the surface in heavy rain.

Didn't pay me any mind, which was good, because the only weapon close at hand to defend against a turkoconic onslaught was my bright yellow metal thermos and the hot Earl Grey therein.

Last evening I was inside but saw motion off the back deck, out of the corner of my eye. It was the weird light of slacking rain and dusk; for a second I thought it was the turkey. But nope-it was venison steaks and a buckskin jacket waiting to happen; a young buck in the yard. I had heard from a neighbor that we get them fairly regularly, but I hadn't seen any myself til last night.

Well, in my backyard anyway. I see alot of deer in my travels, and enough turkeys where I'm not surprised if I spy any in the woodline. And of course all the basic town varmints: possums, raccoons. Bats. Which freak out the wife, and my calling them "just flying mice" doesn't help. I hear an owl every so often. Billions and billions of geese.

Oh, and perhaps a chupacabra. Something got into my trash the other night. The can was full, mebbe 50 lbs, and the heavy bag was on the very bottom. Well, something was strong enough, clever enough, or lucky enough to have pulled the can over, popped the locking lid, and had a buffet with a bunch of gross shit I was trying to throw away. And the something had pointy teefers, judging by the torn bags.

My first thought was racoon, but that was a pretty heavy can. Prolly could've gotten the lid off, but pulled it over...? I kinda doubt it; ditto an ambitious stray cat. Then I thought big dog, but we don't have any strays in the area and I was confident the locking lid technology would thwart the cleverest canine (not particularly challenging I know, just saying). Black bear is not entirely implausible, but would be an extreme stretch.

Which pretty much leaves me with chupacabra.