perfidy

When I was a tyke, I read Mad Magazine all the time. Long before I knew what "randy" and "bazoombies" even meant I though everything they did was absolutely hilarious(, which explains a lot about me). The weirdest stuff sticks with me. I remember back in the early and mid 70's, whenever the people at Mad drew a mob scene, there was always one guy in a corner stuffing his fist in his mouth. I didn't know why, and at age ten I never understood it, but there it always was: a crowd of people going apeshit, and a dude with his hand in his mouth.

Why do I bring this up? Because at approximately 8:15 Eastern time tonight, I was eating my fucking hand. Thirty seconds later, I was screaming triumphant obscenities at the legions of arrogant, ignorant Yankees fans I imagined were just in the other room. At some point, I misplaced my pants.

Those naysayers who believe that baseball is boring can go to hell. Tim McCarver and Joe Buck can go right behind them. Regardless of what happens tomorrow, tonight I watched the most exciting game of baseball I have ever seen, and the best part is the Red Sox won.

My commute is bad for 4PM start times: I leave in the middle of the 2nd or 3rd, usually, after watching as much live update gamecast as I can on mlb.com. Then an agonizing 90 minutes of silence. The Schroedinger's catbox agony of knowing/not knowing what's going on in the game is terrible, and the last few days merciful people with Wi-Fi connections have been keeping my train updated as to the score. Then I get home in the 7th (or later) and watch the end. Home is a sweet relief even when the game almost gives me a coronary.

Today, five innings of game was enough. Any more baseball may have killed me. The wind! The field conditions! Nomar's error! Yankees rally! Nomar's triple! Sox rally! Trot's dinger! That crazy wind! The bullpen by committee is finally working! Red Sox stay alive and win, 9-6, to force a game 7! Damn, it feels good to be a Masshole. Regardless of what happens tomorrow, when Pedro and Clemens go at it again, this has been the best post-season I've ever been witness too. And that includes the agonizing snowing-in-October Indians-Marlins World Series back when I was still a Cleveland fan and the Derek Jeter Game Of Tears last year.

Hope the Cubbies fuck Florida good. I'm'na go watch.

[update] The Cubbies failed to fuck Florida good. The possibility of a snoozer Yankees-Marlins series looms. If that happens.... hey, at least hockey and football are on.

[update] My most sincere condolences to the Chicago Cubs, and to the family and friends of Steve Bartman of Chicago, IL. Steve will be leaving now; is a leper colony in Calcutta far enough away?

[update] And, yes, congratulations to the Florida Marlins. They're not the same team that beat the Indians back in '97, and Dontrelle, Pudge, and the rest of that crew are an incredibly entertaining team to watch. Best of luck to 'em, unless they play the Red Sox.