It's a Dark Evil Day when Horseface Makes the Hall
The NFL announced today the candidates for the 2004 class of the NFL Hall of Fame. As a proud-yet-ashamed-yet-fiercely-proud Ohioan, I'm appalled.
Lets' review.
Up once again for nomination are three "contributors" to the game of football who should make any right-thinking Ohioan (pron: "o-heeszhian") gag. They are:
- Art Modell. A filthy little toad of a man who once held a city hostage and broke the heart of millions, for the sake of moving to Baltimore. Baltimore!
- Art Rooney, Jr. Moneybags for the hated, hateful Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers make me conflicted, because my wife's from Pittsburgh, my favorite city in the USA is Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh has better sandwiches. So, for making me feel conflicted, Art Rooney: you're a dick.
- Ed DeBartolo, Jr. Why, do you ask, would a good Ohio boy have a hate on for the owner of the 49ers? Why, indeed? Well, I don't know, but I've been told, that Ed DeBartolo, Jr. and his father are mobsters, and I do know they are all tied up in real estate in Northeastern Ohio. It's where they're from. They've really made a mess of things up there. It's a little-known fact that Northeast Ohio is mob central. It's what brought Jim Traficant to power, and brought him down.
And finally, Satan Himself has been offered a seat at the Big Table.
- QB: John Elway. Ol' horseface. I hate him. I hate him so much. I hate him with lead pipe fury and a righteousness that burns like a million suns. Why? The Drive. Fucker.
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Johno
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You may not be aware, but the
You may not be aware, but the DeBartolos basically invented the modern concept of the shopping mall. They still own several in NE Ohio.
I wouldn't want to wish harm on anyone, but if John Elway got run over by a gas truck, or carried off by a twister, I wouldn't be overly upset.
Between the drive and Red-Right-88, its hard to be a Browns fan.
As far as Pittsburgh goes, I was raised to hate it from birth. I have grown to love the town though - and the rivalry between the Browns and Steelers seems not to have survived the Browns hiatus caused by demon Modell. But I remember that when the Browns left, Steelers fans were vocal in their support for Cleveland- because they did want to see the beloved rivalry die. They're alright in my book.
" the rivalry between the
" the rivalry between the Browns and Steelers seems not to have survived the Browns hiatus caused by demon Modell."
Are you on CRACK? You evidently haven't spent much time in Pittsburgh during football season....
Granted, there's not been a shooting yet, and nobody's burned a police car, but the rivalry is ALL there.
Re; the shopping malls--
Re; the shopping malls-- actually I did know that. When I was younger, they repeatedly exercised eminent domain over huge tracts of land in and near my li'l hometown.
I admit it's harder to tell
I admit it's harder to tell from VA, but it doesn't seem to be on the same level as it was in the time before.