perfidy

Found this somewhere. I found these tidbits especially useful, and will immediately integrate them into my personal shame and humiliation avoidance program:

Be careful of what you headbutt. Some doors are not as sturdy as they might first look, and it can be hard to estimate your own strength immediately after inhaling nitrous oxide.

You should never put a string of lit Black Cat firecrackers in someone’s back pocket while they’re on stage playing bass guitar with their band. Even if they fucked your knee up by reversing the figure-four on you that one time. And even if you crack up at just the idea of someone with their pants are on fire jumping up and down and spinning around and around like a dog chasing its tail while trying to figure out what’s going on. Yup, someone could get their ass burned, so it’s wrong. Despite the fact that shit is really, really funny.

Sure, she’s good-lookin’. She’s also crazy. Crazy as a shithouse rat. Run for your life.

The bouncer at Mons Venus always knows best. If he says you should stop, then you should stop.

The Renaissance Faire may not be the source of all your problems, but it sure as shit isn’t helping any.

Sadly this piece of wisdom comes too late for me:

Dungeons and Dragons never goes away. Girls will still sense that shit 20 years later.