Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise....
[JARRING CHORD] [The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain [Palin] enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang [Gilliam] is just Cardinal Fang]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise....
Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency....
Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....
Our *four*...no...
*Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise....
I'll come in again.
[The Inquisition exits]
Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals burst in]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
[To Cardinal Biggles] I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Biggles: What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
The Maximum Leader has discovered that, like me, he is in fact the Spanish Inquisition.
This will come in handy when the Republican party starts calling for volunteers to staff the new fundamentalist inquisition here in America. I wonder if they will give us jackboots? Jackboots are sexy. Chicks dig the jackboots.
Find out what Monty Python character you are here at quizilla. Thanks to Robert the Lamabutcher. No wait, llamabuthcher. I mean llamabutcher. Anyway, this guy, of whom I have no reason to suspect a deep and abiding hatred for lamas. Isn't the Dalai Lama cute?
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§ 4 Comments
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Perhaps no surprises here:
Perhaps no surprises here:
You are the Abuse Clerk. You dish out verbal abuse all day long (and some physical!) ...as long as the customer keeps paying. Aaah...such satisfying work! Now sod off, you silly-faced pile of parrot droppings!
Turns out I'm Bruce the
Turns out I'm Bruce the drunken Australian philos-topher.
My philos-tophy: Drink Beer, Think Beer.
OMG. What else? I am the
OMG. What else? I am the Spam Waitress.
You are a waitress! You love serving Spam and Lobster Thermidor to Vikings every day of your little life..."
You are a waitress! You're destined to serve Spam<br>and Lobster Thermidor to Vikings every single<br>day of your life...
<br>
I suspect they (the
I suspect they (the Republicans) would have to give jackboots to the new inquisitors. You couldn't have them going around in slippers or soft-soled sandals now could you?
But slippers/soft-soled sandals would be quieter and thus add to the element of surprise.