George gets the Queer Eye treatment
Historians at Mount Vernon (just a stone's throw from the Buckethead Happy Funtyme Compound on the banks of the Potomac) are engaged in a project to make over the image of George Washington, and it's 'bout time. The popular image of Washington (as appears on the dollar bill, etc.) is of George as an old man, stooped and withered and suffering from sore and swollen gums. The younger man was quite different. Every book I read on the late Colonial period and early Republic describe George Washington as a large, rawboned man with red hair, ruddy features, and an undeniable presence, a social gravity, even when sitting quietly. He looked every inch a Commander-in-chief, an image that the popular Gilbert Stuart painting can't possibly convey.
If you're like me, you have the need to put faces to the names you read about. That's simple when reading a biography of say, Benjamin Disraeli or Ben Franklin, that includes numerous portraits of the man. But in Washington's case, not many portraits exist (not that many reliable ones, anyway), and it just doesn't sit right with me to envision an old man with an infected mouth marching through the mountains of Western Pennsylvania under General Braddock or accepting the peace at Yorktown.
Unfortunately for my fevered brain, there is only one current public figure who looks anything like George Washington at all. Reddish hair, gone gray: check. Tall, physically imposing: check. Lumpy nose: check. Ruddy features: check. Charisma: check. That's right, America. In my head, a young George Washington looks like nobody more than William Jefferson Clinton.
Help me, somebody.
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You do need help. Bad you,
You do need help. Bad you, bad. The idea of A clinton clone slinking away from the battle, saying, "What'd I do?" or having buxom serving wenches sent to his tent at Valley Forge is too disturbing for words.
Some of the portraits of the younger Jefferson might do in a pinch - they were of similar height, both had reddish hair, and I think Tom looked a lot more like Washington than Clinton ever could. They also dressed alike.