Aftermath

Johno Johno

Just thought I'd let you all know that at this moment, ten hours and 30 minutes after gay marriage became legal in Massachusetts, the following has occurred:

  • Rain of fire seen over Scituate.
  • Boston harbor has turned to blood.
  • The dread Pazuzeu has perched atop the Boston statehouse and is belching fire and gall at passersby. Mayor Menino has been hospitalized.
  • The Provincetown ferry has been dragged 'neath the waves by a many-tentacled horror from the deep.
  • Northampton is sliding into a smoking crevice; crevice wasn't there yesterday.
  • The population of the North Shore, from Lynn to Newburyport, have transformed into swine and are running amok.
  • Bands of harpies have descended upon Harvard Square and are scalping all and sundry. Students, faculty, and homeless have taken refuge in tunnels.
  • The legions of the dead walk the earth again.
  • The armies of the Vast Homosexual Conspiracy, festooned in rainbow flags, march on Lexington intent on buggery, buggery, buggery.
  • Civilization as we know it is gasping its dying breath.

In addition

  • The sun is shining.
  • The flowers are pretty.
  • All of the above has thus far failed to happen.

[wik] John Scalzi has some words of advice for newlyweds, gay and otherwise, and says something I'd like to echo:

"I cannot speak for all married people, but I can speak for myself. Marriage has been so good to me that I cannot imagine not sharing it with anyone who wants it. I celebrate your weddings, and I offer the greatest gift I have: That you receive in your married life the joy I have had in mine, and that you share that joy, every day, with an open and loving heart. You're about to be married. There is nothing better.

To those about to be married: Welcome, friends. It's good to have you here.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 10

§ 10 Comments

3

J,
It's Springfield that's the smoking crevice. And it was there yesterday.

GeekLethal GeekLethal

4

The legions of dead put in an appearance on the DC metro this morning, but I don't think we can ascribe that sign of the apocalypse to institutionalized, legal buggery, buggery, buggery. They're there every day.

Buckethead Buckethead

5

Northampton and Amherst are boring, boring, boring. A few balloons were tied to street lights, and Amherst had a sign that said "Welcome all Newlyweds". If it were West Hollywood, there would have been a week-long party.

NDR NDR

6

Same with Cambridge and Boston today. The only protestors the news people could find were some Kansas imports.

To be honest, boring is the best thing that could possible happen. There are many people in this country (our Buckethead among them) with grave misgivings about the wisdom of extending the definition of marriage-- of family-- this much farther than is has been before in America. Many of them (our Buckethead again among them) agree that despite no concrete Constitutional or fundamentally American reason why gays shouldn't be allowed to marry, they just don't think it's a bright idea, e.g. the word becomes meaningless, tradition, religious vs. civil marriage, etc. Then there's the others who see in gay marriage the end of society as we know it (buggery, buggery, buggery, compulsory buggery).

In each case, if gay folks just... get married... like everyone else does, without the hoo-haa and the West Hollywood-stylee assless chaps on parade, more's the better. Boring is safe. Boring is what most people are.

Welcome all newlyweds, indeed. If y'all agree to take it as seriously as us straight folks have been doing (erm... how about taking it as seriously as us straight folks should be taking it), everything will be dandy.

Johno Johno

7

I was hoping for the in-your-face, topless men with wearing hot pants and dancing to house music experience. Perhaps the valley's intellectual scene has so envisioned marriage as a patriarchal institution that no one wants to get married.

On the other hand, I would go in the other way. Want to protect tradition? Marriage is what happens before the cleric, civil union is what happens before the judge. I will happily call my relationship a "civil union".

NDR NDR

10

Oooooh. He's a LOVERLY man who exemplifies the best of Christian values.

I wish I were an ancient Greek god. I'd drum up something truly fitting for his afterlife.

GuitarPicker GuitarPicker

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