Great and Terrible News
We here at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy are known to have a more-than-casual interest in giant fighting robots, preferably of the space variety. There are many reasons for this-- we are geeks, we like things that fight, we all remember Robotech fondly. But ultimately, we are fascinated by the prospect of giant fighting robots because of all the inventions of humankind, from the wheel down to the George Foreman Grill, the Pocket Pussy, and online gambling, giant fighting robots are the one system bound to fail more catastrophically and wreak more horror than any other in history.
And yet the brainiacs persist. Wired has news that iRobot, a company founded by MIT graduates, expects the US Army to field battle robots within ten years or so. Does anybody else wonder whether MIT has become a slave to its own inventions, that in some gigantic sub-basement in East Cambridge, deep underneath the Great Breast of Knowledge, lies a giant array of Cray supercomputers, sentient and malevolent, bent on its own cunningly subtle plans for world domination? Is it just me? Yes? Well.
The military is already using iRobot employeesproducts in the Middle East to conduct remote searches inside caves. What does the future hold?
Some of the robots that are being developed may also be used to shoot at human targets, iRobot suggested. But the company said SUGVs will provide advanced reconnaissance first. The company does not want to be seen as putting human soldiers out of business.Robot vision systems have serious limitations, and the risk that a robot might kill an innocent civilian is too great, said iRobot CEO Colin Angle.
But Angle did not rule out the eventual use of weapons on robots, and noted that Raytheon is developing a targeting system for the SUGV.
"We're not using these robots to hand out flowers," Angle said.
Fantastic. Give the robots a network and guns. Shit, might as well call it SkyNet and face the inevitable. Despite the happy name and benevolence of "iRobot," which calls to mind a future filled with flying cars, robotic servants, and galactic empire, these men are the doom of the planet. We must act now and swiftly to ensure that these fighting robots never gain the advantage. I for one do not want to live out my days as a lubrication attendant for some despotic robot overlord.
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Ross would be smarter about
Ross would be smarter about sensors and stuff than I, but I wouldn't think it would be too hard to equip these warbots with motion detectors, ie shoot everything that moves, or thermal sights, ie shoot everything within 2 degrees of oh, say, 98.6F.
Now, networking them and getting x-number of them to react and coordinate fire and maneuver as a single unit is just the puppy's nuts.
I'm a little disappointed these particular giant fighting robots aren't, you know, giant- I mean, Voltron could just kick ass across the Arab world...hmm, although Voltron wasn't actually a robot...but I digress...er, what?
Yes, not giant. However lethal and terrifyingly inhuman these diminutive combatants may be in concept, they just don't look as scary as they should in reality.
Maybe weld on some pointy bits, paint on a shark's mouth or something...? Let's turn it over to our marketing people and see what's hot in battlefield terror this season.
I don't want to spoil all the
I don't want to spoil all the fun, boys, but what's the difference between mechanical rugrats of death and mechanical aeroplanes of death? The Predator can already fly armed missions and "smart" bombs have been around awhile.
GP, you're missing the point.
GP, you're missing the point. No matter how many hellfire missiles they put on a predator recon drone, it does not create the awe and fear that a giant, humanoid fighting robot engenders in its prey. The UCAV is ultimately a dead in in military development - walking, shooting robots are the wave of the future. And this little RC car of a fighting robot is the lungfish to their T. Rex.
(Until they combine the two, like in Robotech. That would be sweet.)
B,
B,
OK, lungfish v. T-Rex is a great, great comparison. That would be a brief, if exciting, match.
Now, GP, take the giant humanoid fighting robots and drop them from orbit right into the fray... oh man, you're talking battle and mayhem on a Haldeman-ian scale.
Something's wrong with me
Something's wrong with me today. I woke up all serious and shit. Normally I'd be all over the Terminator does Baghdad. Today I'm thinking if crack FBI agents with nerves of ice can mistakenly smoke granny when she pops up in the mock village ... there's gonna be a whole lotta bad smoking going on when the robots get involved in wartime. Because you see the robots will make decisions based on code written by programmers hired by career gubmint folks.
[Today's non-sequitur separated-at-birth entry: Haldeman and J. Jonah Jameson, Peter Parker's boss in the old Spiderman comic books.]
GL, we'll get to the giant
GL, we'll get to the giant part soon enough, when the robots start building their own next generations.
hm. IIRC, SkyNet was already
hm. IIRC, SkyNet was already a company. A possibly now defunct ISP out of Maryland. I want to say a friend or two has worked there... ooh. pardon me. I just googled it. It was 'SkyNet WEB'. Close enough.