perfidy

Greetings Buckethead and Johnny Two-Cents and all unfortunate readers,

It is I, Windy City Mike (for now), though in the future I could be Burning River Mike, Maryland Mike, Big Easy Mike, or any number of other places. For the moment, I am of Chicago. It's okay, though to paraphrase Nelson Algren, loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose. It's hard to love this metropolis where the gentle waves of Lake Michigan lap onto small stretches of sand and miles of treacherous jagged rock beaches, but it's easy to have a love-hate relationship with it.

I am employed by this land of the wild onion, this realm of both Daley the elder and Daley the younger, these crooked, broken streets where Bugsy Moran fell by the wayside to the crushing ascendant power of Al Capone, this City of the Broad Shoulders, where we vote early and often, even after a journey to the great beyond. I'm just another Irish guy employed by the city machine, like my father before me, though my job is significantly less dangerous. I teach history in the City College system, and it's a pretty good gig. I'm also struggling to earn a PhD at a Jesuit University here. If I were a twelve year old, I'd be as nervous as a long tailed pole cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Luckily, I am not twelve, and enough with the anticlericalism and cliches for now. So here I am, the left head of a debating troika. I thank Buckethead and Johnny two-cents for their gracious offer to join this cyber round table. Here's to those who lean on their shovels and work with their caloused hands, the 1894 Homestead strikers, the working warriors of 1877, Joe Hill, Eugene Debs, Alexander Berkman, George Orwell, and perhaps most importantly, the martyred James Connolly. I'm old left; it's all about trade unions, a decent wage, a roof over the head, clothes on the back, and food on the plate. So in other words, don't come around here with your dog-eared, well worn copy of Foucault's "Discipline and Punish." Postmodernism don't pay the rent.

Solidarity,
Windy City Mike

Well, Steve, rather shockingly I find myself agreeing with you on almost all counts, and here I was all ready to grab you by the belt and pull you back from the frogbashing precipice over which have leapt so many of our best and brightest. I only hope they don't think that after all this, they stand a chance of getting in on the ground floor of any reconstruction, nation-building, Marshall Plan, or accolades that would ensue in the event of a successful overthrow of Saddam. They can go pound salt.

I only have this to say in defense of the duplicitous pointy-mustache farmers: any nation that can invent bearnaise sauce can't be all bad. Mmmmmm........creamy.......

Gentlemen,

Hmmm. Here's the thing. While I understand the visceral reaction of the people who distanced themselves from Representative Moran, referring to his remarks as "indefensible," and offensive, there are other things to consider. Granted, his remarks are offensive to people, that is undeniable.

Has it occurred to anyone, however, that he's just plain wrong? The reaction to Moran's remarks are further evidence that many Americans no longer give a damn what somebody says, and whether it is accurate or inaccurate, but only how they say it.

Plus, Moran thinks he's right, and he's probably going to continue to think he's right. We cannot stop people from thinking unpleasant things just by preventing them from saying it, or censuring them when saying it. Maybe, instead of yelling at people and calling them offensive, it's more constructive to just say, "No, you're wrong, and here's why." Just a thought.

Mike

I repeat: Spring is when the short shorts come out.

C'mon, spring! C'mon, spring! Three inches of snow... what the?

C'mon, spring!

Don't blow a gasket, chimpy. Waving a couple signs in the general direction of Congress is no more giving aid and comfort to the enemy than my wiping my ass is destroying the rain forests. I'm exactly as disgusted as you are at the brain-deprived, pablum-puking flower children who claim that "War Never Solved Anything" or "Bush=Nazi" or allow those DMF's in A.N.S.W.E.R. to dominate the antiwar discussion. But, dissent is part of life in the USA, and, the Stalinists aside, a lot of good people are against the war. Don't always understand the arguments, but there they are.

On partial birth abortion

The reason I oppose a ban on "Partial Birth Abortion" is because it, unlike "regular" abortion, cannot be used as a contraceptive measure, but is instead performed when, and only when, those extremely rare, extremely dire, circumstances occur that both baby and mother will die otherwise. This isn't about when the condom breaks-- it is instead the last of the last of the last resorts-- and outlawing it is an empty gesture, enacted only because the larger issue of abortion is still too hotly contested.

Soon to come: my thoughts on life during wartime, and also songs about buildings and food.

Also soon to come: happier things about puppies, balloons, and how awesome Spring is when the short shorts come out.

I've had a busy day at work, so now, finally, an opportunity to post...

In re: Arthur Silber and Johno's concerns about Franco-American relations:

Much of the delay in America's war plans is a direct result of French obstructionism. Between these delays, allowing more time for Saddam to prepare for our invasion; and the French supplying spare parts for Saddam's military through shady third parties in Dubai; we can lay some of the blame for any American casualties directly on the door of the French.

Another major aspect of delays from the American side is consideration for Blair's political health. I think many of the pro war conservatives and moderates are aware of this, as am I, and while frustrated are not necessarily blaming W.

As for the Partial Birth Abortion ban, while it may offend liberals who tend to be absolutist on abortion issues generally, is not so unreasonable. Whatever you may think of early term abortion, letting a baby be (almost) born, and then stabbing it in the head before it comes out is, literally, inches from infanticide. If the baby is that close to being born, I can't imagine any situation where the mother's health would require a doctor to kill a baby that is already nearly out of the mother already.

BTW, there are antiwar social conservatives. For example, Mennonites and Catholics.

In re: Sucking up to tyrants:

I would certainly agree with a toned down version of Peter's argument. The rest of his article is more dispassionate. I posted it it because it was some wonderful bile. However, Boston College is a small institution that does not represent millions of people. The government of France does.

In re: Missy Elliot:

Did you notice the "heh"?

In re: Moran and Buchanan:

It was, "Deranged Mongoloid F*ckwits," originally; but that works, too. Buchanan long ago lost my respect, and even longer ago ceased to be anything that could remotely called conservative. The only accurate political labels I can think of for dear Pat are from the nineteenth century - I keep expecting him to start yelling about free silver or something. Moran, my very own congressman, is a complete jackhole. 'Nuff said. But one thing that blows my mind is the inability of the anti war left to see that by opposing "America's War" they are supporting a repugnant thug who is against everything they claim to stand for. That by supporting Saddam, they are calling for the continued oppression of the Iraqi people. Then, on top of it all, they plaster bizarre conspiracy theories and outmoded slogans. Aaaaggghhh.

In re: Shoe bomber:

Jose Padilla is a Deranged Mendacious F*ckwit and traitor. Therefore, he deserves a scrupulously fair trial followed by the hangman's noose. If we had caught him overseas, different rules might have applied, but we didn't.

Queerly, just as I was riding up the elevator after a refreshing nicotine break, thinking that despite a full time job, the endless labor of preparing my new house for moving into, and my old house for moving out of, and writing the great american novel in my spare time, and a wife preparing to give birth to our first offspring in two months, "now would be the right time to start a blog;" I got an email from my dear friend Johno, inviting me to join his blog. 

He therefore has my eternal gratitude for saving me the effort of creating one myself. He is my hero. At least until someone else does something nice for me. 

Like Johno, I am from Ohio. However, I am rather further to the right, politically speaking. Also, I am sans college degrees, though many people have called me the smartest "C" student they ever met. (In my defense, I did once get a 3.85 average one semester. It would have been a 4.0 if someone had warned me that the only way to get an A in Hale Chatfield's English classes was to write term papers on the topic of sex or death or both. I got a B+ on the mid term, recovered for the final, but the fat jerk still gave me a B+ for the class. But enough complaining.) I like long walks in the park, playing with puppies, and am a Gemini. I also think that astrology is horseshit. 

I fully agree with Johno on the politics, culture and stupid shit manifesto, though I should like to add "things that explode" to the list. 

[wik] While DJ B-head's first post did use the bold type that was to become characteristic of the blog's unique style and verve, note that he was so banal as to give his first post the excruciatingly bad title, "Howdy." Thankfully, he soon progressed to more innovative (and dare we say, cool) titles such as, "A quote from Ralph Peters," "Buckethead on France," and "The French." In almost no time at all, he became the stylish and clumsy commentator that we all love so much. 

This message from the Minister of Minor Perfidy: Thank you for your cooperation!
 

Want to tell me about it, for all the good it will do ya? I may be reached at toastdog-at-juno-dot-com. 

What the hell was I thinking? 

Because my compadre Buckethead and I have been having some fascinating (to us) discussions via email that we felt would better fit the format of a weblog. Also, in case we ever wish to run for public office, we want to have a clearinghouse for our enemies who wish to use our own words against us. We believe in convenience. Finally, because I sort of miss being in graduate school and participating in mindless theoretical discussions about senseless minutiae. 

This weblog is about three things: politics, culture, and stupid sh*t, though not necessarily in that order. I am fanatical in my devotion to the majesty of rock and the mystery of roll, the genius of Jackie Chan, and the ability of the American polity, through sheer mass and insensibility, to withstand even the most vigorous assaults from within and without. 

Just who the hell do I think I am? I was born in Ohio on the eve of Nixon's resignation. After this inauspicious beginning, and an excruciating career in Ohio's public school system, I decamped for a slightly different part of Ohio, and college. Seven years later, I woke up with a hangover, a tattoo, and a graduate degree in US History. A recent veteran of the entertainment industry, which I found neither glamorous nor entertaining, I now work at one of the more august institutes of higher learning around. Not telling which one. I think I'm so damn smart. 

I am a centrist. Being brought up in post-industrial Ohio tends to imbue one with a certain innate sense of pragmatism that not even the fiercest postmodern assaults have been able to shake free. But, I'm also an intellectual chauvinist, an optimist, and kind of an asshole. I have seen the worst that both the Left and Right have to offer, and I have thoroughly enjoyed mocking them both. Hence, this forum. Goody for me. 

Missy Elliott is the funk queen of the Universe. For shizzo.