perfidy

I think this means something-- I'm just not sure what.

My former classmate and history heavyweight Brdgt attributes the similiarities to historical attitudes toward race. I'm not so sure. Although as an historian of racial identity in the USA I am convinced that almost everything in American history can be related, albeit tangentially, to race, I am inclined to read this map differently. I see a map describing the boundary between a tightly federal America and America's last frontier where the states-rights people live. Naturally, 'states rights' is code for slavery when we're talking about 1860-odd, but that's not the only thing going on.

Interesting.

[wik] Good discussion in the comments. I should clarify. Please read the last sentence of the original post in the following spirit, which is as I intended it: Naturally, 'states rights' is code for slavery when we're talking about 1860-odd [but it is devoid of that meaning today when uttered by serious people], but [that historical reading of the top map is] not the only [one, or even the interesting one].

Indeed, they live next door.

This noxious red state/blue state bullshit is poisoning the country. The press and punditry, in search of a quick and easy way to nutshell our convictions, sell papers, grab eyeballs, and dumb down reality to a level their fumbling little minds can handle have made this idea into received truth: Liberals live in Blue States, conservatives live in Red States, and never the twain shall meet. In fact, when the twain do meet, it's usually some cardigan-wearing Yuppie spilling his white wine and running right out of his boat shoes as he flees in terror from a band of unshaven, camo'd Good Ol' Boys shootin' at him with squirrel guns out of the back of a giant pickup truck.

Moreover, as anyone can clearly see, the Republicans are by far the majority party, as clearly demonstrated by a glance at the Big Electoral Map of Unquestioned Assumptions Presented As Pure-D Truth And Don't You Forget It.

Right?

Let's go to the maps!
Here's a by-county winner-take-all look at the nation on Tuesday. Pretty clear, huh? The US of A is Bush Country!

For those of us who live in blue states, this map is telling us to feel like we're being backed into a corner! The entire country hates gays and loves freedom, which we hate.

But what's that directly below the Red-Blue map? That is a map of population density in the USA. In-teresting. Bush country is largely devoid of populace, though parts are teeming with cattle. Is it possible that perhaps the Red-Blue split is nothing more than the old urban-rural thing dressed up in spiffy new colorful clothes? No! No way! That would render it almost meaningless!

Finally, here's a map with Tuesday's by-county voting results, shaded red-to-blue depending on which candidate carried the county, and by how much. 100% BusHitler = Red. 100% that Liberal Fakey Fake Flip Flopping Frenchy = Blue. A 51-49 victory lands right in the middle between blue and red.

Well shit. What's right in the middle between blue and red??

The United States of America!

(special thanks to Crooked Timber for letting me steal the maps they found.)

[wik] Finally... here's the same view of the country from the 2000 election, missing parts of New England thanks to data porting issues and with one county in the west partially green (implying a strong showing in the area for Kodos).

[alsø wik] Why, oh why, do I hate our freedom?

Matthew's got it right. United States of Canada! Jesusland!

I think it can work.

I have several hours worth of negative commentary on yesterday's test for gravity, but I'll condense it. There doesn't seem to be much point in exploring facts or numbers or doing realistic extrapolations. I guess I held a foolish hope that, to some extent, the American political system was self-correcting. I was wrong.

At least the popular vote broke for Bush, this time. He has legitimacy he did not, after 2000. It also appears that the election was clean, this time. I don't know how many black "felons" were denied an opportunity to vote in Florida; let's hope it isn't the 45,000 that we saw last time. Bush's margin in Florida is several hundred thousand, which puts him safely (and legitimately) in the lead.

It's not that John Kerry was a great candidate; he wasn't. But Bush represents the certainty of an economic death spiral, the affirmation of xenophobia (and just about every other phobia, including homo-), and the sunsetting of liberty. He's got a four year track record to prove it. At least with Kerry there was a chance for fiscal discipline and for cooperation on the international level; no such chance exists now.

So I sit here, perplexed. All the graphs and charts and analysis I've done, countless discussions conveying the facts, everything written and done and said...it all means pretty much nothing. I think that it means that my focus has to change; I think it means that there simply isn't any point in trying to work and hope for change that is good for everyone. It turns out they're not interested.

The ironic thing is that Bush's policies are fine, or even good, for me personally. His tax cuts go to people like me. The crash and burn of the medical system doesn't affect me; I can afford it, whatever happens. Expensive oil? Doesn't bother me. The forthcoming rise in social security taxation rates (to "fix" social security) won't be much of a factor for me; my income extends past the social security range. All these things are going to screw over the average 30k/year guy in America; that guy just voted for Bush, so my sympathies are limited.

We're really entering a new era, now. If you're a smart, wealth-producing, socially liberal, fiscally conservative person, you need to start thinking about protecting yourself and your family from this lunacy, and you need to start doing it right now. The bible-wielding welfare-staters are coming for us. They want to spend our tax dollars on things we don't agree about, like stupid wars. They want to force everyone to hate gays. They want to take away a woman's right to choose. They do not believe the environment should be protected. They want to swagger around the playground, declaring that the opinions of those who live elsewhere in the world don't matter. They talk financial discipline, but implement the largest discretionary spending increases in modern times. They hand huge breaks to the buddies of the people in charge of their "party", and they hand the bill to us, and to the next generation.

So how do you protected yourself and your family against this lunacy? I don't know yet. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm not sure it's possible; at least, not in America.

The baby boomers start retiring in five years. Demand for treasury bonds is dropping dramatically. America's position in the world is the weakest it has been in modern times. The federal government is running 6% of GDP deficits and is two years away from the highest percentage-of-GDP deficits ever recorded (exceeding the record set after World War II). Dislike and distaste for America is causing increases to trade deficits. Oil prices are likely to double (from their current record-high levels) over the next two years, which will have a massive ripple effect on America's remaining, highly dispersed manufacturing infrastructure.

The very idea of trying to deal with a longer-term problem, like global warming, is foolish.

Is this who you are?

Rationality has prevailed, and GOP Party Officials in Ohio have told challengers to observe, rather than actively challenge voters on the spot. Since I criticized the decision to challenge, it's only fair that I mention their decision to observe. Nobody has a problem with observation. It was the active process of challenging voters in the act of voting that was highly problematic.

As promised, here is my choice for President. I will cast my vote later today.

It is with heavy heart and great reluctance I choose John Kerry for President. In fact, this vote is not so much a vote for the junior Senator from Massachusetts as it is an unequivocal and vigorous vote against Bush. I think he's done some good things. He's gone in the right direction on taxes and tax reform-- indeed, not far enough. No Child Left Behind has a good idea somewhere deep inside, cloaked in layer upon layer of fat and hot air. His leadership in the first couple months after September 2001 were good stuff. He's been far from a disaster on many fronts. However. I want him gone for the following reasons.

1) The "war on terror," which is the most important struggle facing our nation today-- on a par with the Cold War-- is also not the only struggle, and I deeply resent my patriotism being questioned for asking if the way the President chooses to fight it is the right way, and I deeply resent the implication that talking about anything else implies I am unserious about national defense. I do not believe that we are more safe now than before Saddam Hussein was removed from power. This is not the same thing as disagreeing with the decision to remove him. If terrorists are the problem, I may simplistically ask why Saudi Arabia is not a smoking crater. Again, although some parts of the "war on terror," (which in itself is a ridiculous title like "war on poverty," "war on drugs," or "war on mosquitoes") have gone smashingly well, I think enough major parts have been completely fumbled so's to warrant giving someone else a chance. Is John Kerry my first choice? Hahahahahahahahahaha....no. I vote for him only because he's the evil I don't know.

2) I love France and the French more than I love life itself. French toast, French ticklers, French letters, French fries, French poodles, uppity French wine, and French hygeine are my ne plus ultra. They have been our greatest ally, and it is high time we as a nation were grateful for them and their haughty righteousness.

3) Bush's unquestioning loyalty to himself. "We're on a mission from gad" is great for the Blues Brothers, but terrible for policy. It too easily transmutes from humble supplication and introspective moral guidance into arrogant crusading, and that don't sit too good with me. His inability to admit making any mistakes, his inability to accept or delegate accountability, his loyalty to his inner circle long after that loyalty pays any dividends or indeed makes any sense, and his legendary incuriousness about policy or detail leave me deeply dissatisfied about his fitness to take the nation in a worthwhile direction . Moreover, I find that fratboy schtick fatuous, not funny.

4) I hate our prosperity, I hate free trade, I love the gays, and I hate our freedom. (Which of these things is true, and which is just me shinin' you on?)

5) Four years of John Kerry means, at the very least, four years of divided government. It's an article of faith with me that such times are when the *magic* happens.

6) There's a bunch of other things that belong on this list, from specific gripes about Medicare entitlements and government spending to Bush's overweening moralism, but it's November the Second, the end of the tunnel is in sight, and I am so powerfully sick of our Hallowed Democratic Process so's to willingly consider Constitutional Monarchy if only our first king could be TV's Dave Coulier. I have little to add to what the Kerry supporters at Begging to Differ have to say, so if my choice vexes you, go see where I nod my head, then come back here and unload.

Remember: vote early. In Chicago, vote twice!

GOP functionaries scream on one hand about activist judges. Then they run to federal Circuit Court to get local judges overruled when they want to "challenge" voters in minority and democractic districts. The Times has the story. What, exactly, are these challengers going to do besides look at the same photo ID that the election supervisors are looking at?

Nothing. That's not why they're there. They're there for one purpose: To slow down the process of voting in heavily democratic areas. When the lines grow to a certain point, frustrated people are going to give up.

Let's hope they don't succeed.

This would be a great time for Bush supporters (as opposed to Republicans) to make the case for their guy. I'll make it easy for you. Just discuss one major policy initiative that's been a success. Specifically, somewhere the administration has done the following: Identified a problem, described policies to solve the problem, publicly predicted the effects of those policies, implemented them, measured the results, and found them to be in line with public pronouncements.

Offhand, I can't think of anything. What have I missed?

We desperately need Republicans in this country to be Republicans again.

Third party politics is alive and well. This third party came into being by gestating inside another, then eating it from the inside out. The GOP of today has only labels in common with traditional Republican principles. The GOP of today is a slouching, awkward beast; dead wires for tendons, the flesh of its policies rotting under bright light, a painful puppet-walk of leprosy. The sponsors of its hate-core are aging, dying -- the young do not share their opinions on color, sexuality, and forced religion. Disastrous fiscal policies have led to questions from even the most faithful, the efficiency-core, who have been asked to turn their backs on the fiscal policies that truly differentiated Republicans. What is left, raging, is the fear-core of the party, whose policies ironically make far more likely the very scenarios they claim to prevent. The last, best hope of the new third party politics is to create a fear-state, a police-state, one in which fear can fill in for the dying strength of the hate-core.

Take back your party. Be for personal liberty, fiscal discipline, and states' rights. Regain the realism that is the GOP's primary contribution to American discourse.

I've got news for you, mis amigos americanos. You are a few days away from testing gravity. It seems that a certain set of alignments has been reached. Various spheres -- planetary, political, ideological, teleological -- have arrayed themselves conveniently before you. You may study, think, and decide.

Do you believe America is evolving towards an endpoint? That might, perhaps, explain the lack of long term focus so exuberantly exhibited by the populace and its current leadership. Why plan for or even acknowledge the presence of gravity, when the rapture is coming? Surely a kind God, or at least one with strong feelings about inconveniencing his chosen followers, intends the enjoyment of a steady-state American universe, right up until the end.

Or perhaps you believe, in the finest traditions of ancient drama, that a forthcoming deus ex machina will pluck the myriad emergent thorns from the furry hide of our franchise-driven society. The crashing disaster of federal finances and the oppressive reality of an aging population are nothing in the face of such powerful means. We have only to turn loose the unlimited power of The Market (tm) and magic will present itself! Ingenuity (one special kind in particular -- born right here) will fix it all.

You Americans seem to be Pretty Darn Scared of terrorists right now, you've made it a central issue in this campaign. Observe this secular heresy: Terrorism is the least of your worries. There are other, far larger and scarier issues that any rational analysis rapidly reveals. You can't fight a war on terrorism if your economy won't support one. You can't fight terrorism if your force capabilities are committed to other purposes, such as Iraq. You can't fight terrorism if you alienate and zero out the resources that are best positioned to deal with threat. We often refer to these resources as "the people who live there".

Threats to your life are all around you. Deal with it. It's the actions we take every day; it's the mutant cell in your bloodstream, or the renegade DNA you inherited, or "safe" chemicals you ingest over decades, chemicals that make it economically possible for you to consume more of products that can damage your health in their impure forms. Tons of steel and composites fly past and beside you in your daily commute; you're a hundred times as likely to die and have your death investigated by NHTSA as investigate by the NSA.

If you're a resident of Baghdad, tons of steel and composites might fly past you for a variety of reasons; most an unwelcome consequence of propulsive, expanding gases and fireballs. The antecedent actors, whether they be purveyors of improvised or non-improvised devices, matter little as life and hope are singed away, singled out and pinned against a black backdrop of crude "democratic" experimentation, like butterflies.

This election should be about the economy, the structure of taxation, halting the death spiral of the medical system, and the best mechanisms to deal with demographic shifts and changing energy costs. Those are the short term issues that will most affect residents and citizens, over the next decade. Longer term, a wise citizen will consider the role of government in the information age and the deeper question of the true meaning of freedom and democracy in an electronic world.

I have three little tests I like to apply to policy: Equality, fairness, and "tellin' other people what to do". Policies should possess the first two, and minimize to the extent that is possible the third. I suggest that you come up with your own tests, if you don't like mine. We can trust the weighted wisdom of democracy, but democracy needs traction into ideas to function, and there's where your responsibility as a citizen comes into play. You can't just choose, friend. You've got to decide, and that's a very different process. Choosing is flippng a coin. Deciding has method.

Do not use 9/11 as a reason to choose, instead of decide. Too much is at stake. It's no secret that I think the current occupant of the Oval is a chooser, not a decider. Aspire to more. Find your own test for gravity. Here's a hint: You don't need a cliff. Ignore the people you see using that mechanism.

Rudy Giuliani, sawing through his own treelimb on The Today Show:

"No matter how you try to blame [allegedly misplacing 370 tons of 'splosives] on the President, the actual responsibility for it should be on the troops that were there. Did they search carefully enough?"

Shorter Rudy: "Our troops are clowns." Way to energize the base!!

Gen. Patrick M. Hughes, now an Intelligence bigwig at the Department of We Can See What You're Doing, speaking at Haahvahd last yearon the topic of civil rights, safety and terrorism:

"Set aside what the mass of people think. Some things are so bad for them that you cannot allow them to have them. One of them is war in the context of terrorism in the United States... [t]herefore, we have to abridge individual rights, change the societal conditions, and act in ways that heretofore were not in accordance with our values and traditions, like giving a police officer or security official the right to search you without a judicial finding of probable cause.

Let me guess. We live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. You have more responsibility than I could possibly fathom. I weep for civil liberties. I have that luxury. I have the luxury of not knowing what you know. That what you do saves lives. And your existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to me, saves lives. I don't want the truth. because deep down, in places I don't talk about at parties, I want you on that wall, I need you on that wall!

Something like that, then? Assclown?

[wik] ... and a Bonus Round from the Department of Homeland Security And Frivolous Prosecution of Stated Duties (this and the last via Reason):

So far as she knows, Pufferbelly Toys owner Stephanie Cox hasn't been passing any state secrets to sinister foreign governments, or violating obscure clauses in the Patriot Act.

So she was taken aback by a mysterious phone call from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to her small store in this quiet Columbia River town just north of Portland.

When the two agents arrived at the store, the lead agent asked Cox whether she carried a toy called the Magic Cube, which he said was an illegal copy of the Rubik's Cube, one of the most popular toys of all time.

He told her to remove the Magic Cube from her shelves, and he watched to make sure she complied.

After the agents left, Cox called the manufacturer of the Magic Cube, the Toysmith Group, which is based in Auburn, Wash. A representative told her that Rubik's Cube patent had expired, and the Magic Cube did not infringe on the rival toy's trademark.

Virginia Kice, a spokeswoman for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, said agents went to Pufferbelly based on a trademark infringement complaint filed in the agency's intellectual property rights center in Washington, D.C.

"One of the things that our agency's responsible for doing is protecting the integrity of the economy and our nation's financial systems and obviously trademark infringement does have significant economic implications," she said.

Seriously, DHS agents could take a stroll down Canal Street in Manhattan every day of the week and meet their yearly quota for copyright infrigement busts. It's not that I object to them doing their job (much) but I do object to spending money on a toy store outside Portland and for busting Tommy Chong for selling impractical and unusable artistically-designed handblown glass intoxicant delivery devices. C'mon guys! Real bootleggers sell off tarpaulins, and real stoners can make a bong out of an apple. Why not go bust up a crystal meth lab somewheres?

NDR has voted, and he (plus brdgt in the comments) makes an eleoquent case for the virtues of thoughtful political involvement. Says brdgt: "I will never mistake carefully crafted apathy as actual political participation again."

Earlier this week I found myself on the phone to my parents pleading with them about the upcoming election. They live at Ground Zero (formerly known as "Ohio"), and between the Presidential race, a few ludicrious Congressional races including the one in their district, and the outrageous baby/bathwater Let's Ban Gay Marriage And Everything That Reminds Us Of It Act that's up for ratification, the stakes are pretty high. Although I changed no minds (and found that in important ways minds didn't need changing), I found myself, almost for the first time in the past eighteen months, discarding my "carefully crafted apathy" (which is actually more like "finely modulated disgust," but a spade's a spade) in favor of unavoidable facts and solid positions. As for what that means, and who I'm voting for-- not telling, and your guess is probably wrong.

See also farther down NDR's main page for perceptive comments on the ways that regional ties (homeland-ness) hinder the democratic process.

Eminem's new video/single, Mosh is really, really good. In an election season marked by singularly idiotic statements by artists (I'm talking to you, Bruce Springsteen. "We've been misled?" What the hell is misling?), Eminem has succeeded in making protest music that neither sucks nor panders.

Instead of recycling all the usual Bush Lied/Halliburton crap bit by bit, Eminem distances himself from pat criticisms of the President by putting those words in the mouths of characters and ties up all the criticisms of the President into one mass, putting the focus more on dissatisfaction in general rather than any one charge. A 9/11 reference opens the video, and takes us through vignettes of regular folks dealing with hard facts of life-- overly vigorous police, not making ends meet, and coming home from Iraq to your wife and kids to find you're being shipped right back. For himself, Eminem reserves a more unfocused disgust with the way things are going (yes, getting with some pretty weak "F**k Bush" stuff) and by the end of the video he is leading a grim and angry mob into the street to... go vote.

I can't believe I am writing this. It's a sign of how bad things have gotten. But Eminem-- Slim Shady-- has put together the single best populist critique of the post-9/11 Bush Administration, not that that's saying much. No doubt at least two of my cobloggers will disagree with me about the quality of the critiques of the administration (and hey, Eminem is not exactly the most nuanced guy on the planet... Bush is a "weapon of mass destruction" my ass), but damn. In one shot Eminem succeeds in reducing hyperbole to something that almost resembles argument (or at least a call to arms), and makes voting into a revolutionary, fist-in-the-air act. It's not that idiotic, pandering "Vote or Die" campaign P-Diddy's on. It's not that milkylicking limo-liberal "Vote for Change" thing. It's just "Vote," and for all the cliche and lack of nuance, it just works.

Conservatives, please...unite. Join hands with me now, as we pray to the Lord Almighty for deliverance. Or deliveries, as it were. Let the good works, the fine brown trucks of UPS continue to flourish across this glorious land which you have given us. Spare us from the distasteful inconveniences of the sciences, whose conclusions embrace the fallen.

Our brethren, who art in Amman, honoured are thy contracts. Lord provide unto them captured sunlight, the guise of dead life. Give us our texas tea, and forgive those whom we crush, as we forgive them for our trespasses. Lead us not, and deliver us from reason.

Dear Biblical Scholars: Did the bible ever cover the fiscal signs of the apocalypse?

CNN makes with the dirty funnies: Clinton pumps base from the stump.

Yeah, I tried that once. Hurt like hell and I had to pee sitting down for a week.

[wik] In case anyone was wondering, the appearance of knock-knock and dick jokes from me in this forum indicates that I've had enough of this whole 'lection thing. Soooo tired. Soooo sick of it.

Of the dozens of weblogs I no longer read thanks to election fatigue, I deign to single out for particular abuse: Kevin Drum, Balloon Juice, Mark Kleiman, RedState, Tacitus, and those assholes at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Just kidding about that last one. The rest can go pound salt.

I believe the upcoming election will be litigated. Litigated, lawyered, and justicized until we're all half mad. We are going to learn about the election laws of Dullard County, Ohio and Shitheel Township, Florida in ridiculous sleepy detail. Insomniacs might pray for wakefulness again before it's all done.

But when will it all be done?

I'm asking for guesses. Will the election be sufficiently settled by Thanksgiving, say?

Not like that fake Entemann's stuff you get on the end-rack in the bread aisle. Or that stuff they fed you from a sheet pan in grade school. The real, butter-egg-sugar stuff the French still know how to do, frosted with more butter and sugar and packed with knee-buckling flavor.

I'm talking about the Blogcritics Debate series, which wrapped up this week with a barnburner between Congressional candidate from the Ohio 16th Jeff Seeman and noted conservative pundit and bigmouth John Hawkins. Go see what it's like when atual issues, policy points, and world views are put to the test! In between sniping and snarking, a lot of great stuff got said.

Also well worth your time are the previous debates, between Green Natalie Davis and Libertarian Mike Kole (Melt guns to make composters! No! Melt composters to make guns!), and between blogger Michele Catalano and novelist/gadfly Neal Pollack. Read them all and feel your brain swell with extra smarts and other wholesome stuff. Like cake.

People are looking at whether Kerry might not have initially been honorably discharged. Kerry still hasn't signed his form 180, which would release the 100 pages of documents that the Naval Personnel Office says it still has and either dismiss or support these allegations.

That damned judicial activism again!

In an effort to raise the level of discourse around here, I find myself reduced to bringing in outside help. Frequent Ministry reader Patton offers some thoughts on how the Dems and Reps are bending over backwards to court the retard vote this year. Bible banning, the draft, forgeries, and Halliburton Halliburton Halliburton out the wazoo (out your wazoo too!). Go read!

[wik] I'm probably too proud of my headlines today.