perfidy

The Federal Trade Commission just released a study which finds that approximately 96% of business-offer spams make false claims.

Two thoughts immediately leap to mind. First across the line is sorrow at the notion that the US Government needed to spend money on a study that, in the year 2003, concludes "In one way or another, a great deal of [spam] appears to contain important information that is false or deceptive."

Well, no shit.

Stumbling across the finish line in second place is an ardent desire to determine exactly which 4% of the penis enlargers, Nigerian royals, and lonely college chicks are not making false claims, thereby ensuring me a legendary future career in pornography, philanthropy, and philandering.

Everybody knows you can never be too rich, too thin, or too well-hung.

[pre-emptive update] I'd imagine Goodwife Two-Cents would like to have some input on this point, so I will forestall her most obvious objections by pointing out that a) You said it was OK last time, b) no, c) no, d) never!, e) only with your approval, and f) any money gained from Nigerian royalty would go straight to those poor exhibitionist college girls, who would then be able to afford a proper dating service, and could also perhaps buy themselves some self-respect. I love you, schmoopie.

[the above with apologies to many people, first among them, Geek Lethal.]