perfidy

Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I realize that I'm a world-baby.

Yesterday the House of Representatives passed the Child Interstate Abortion Notification Act, which basically makes it illegal to transport a minor across state lines for the purpose of having an abortion if the minor's home state requires parental notification prior to the procedure. That, I only have *some* trouble with on the usual Federalist grounds and because although I don't much care for Roe v. Wade, I also would like states that (at some point in a theoretical future) legalize abortion to not have the legality of the practice stepped upon by other states' laws that prohibit same. Slippery slopes, all that.

But that's not what cheeses me off. What does cheese me off are the infantile hijinks of the Republicans in Congress. (Honestly, these days I could start every single post that way and not once would it be less true.) Hilzoy of Obsidian Wings (who I do not want to marry despite here many charms and virtues, being already happily wed (never mind, folks! (that's an inside-baseball(well, blogball (how many nested clauses can I achieve? (Five!)))) comment) read the bill closely and observed a fascinating phenomenon. The Democrats offered a number of amendements to the bill which would have, for example, exempted Greyhound drivers from prosecution if one of their passengers was a fifteen year old crossing state lines for an abortion. The original text and vote count read:

DEMS: a Scott amendment to exempt cab drivers, bus drivers and others in the business transportation profession from the criminal provisions in the bill (no 13-17):

The revised text in the Congressional Record now reads:

GOP REWRITE. Mr. Scott offered an amendment that would have exempted sexual predators from prosecution if they are taxicab drivers, bus drivers, or others in the business of professional transport. By a roll call vote of 13 yeas to 17 nays, the amendment was defeated.

Wha? That's gotta be a mistake, right? In my best John McLaughlin voice, "WRONG!" See this amendment,

DEMS: a Nadler amendment to exempt a grandparent or adult sibling from the criminal and civil provisions in the bill (no 12-19)

... which somehow ended up as this amendment:

GOP REWRITE: . Mr. Nadler offered an amendment that would have exempted sexual predators from prosecution under the bill if they were grandparents or adult siblings of a minor. By a roll call vote of 12 yeas to 19 nays, the amendment was defeated.

So not only are Greyhound drivers not exempted from this law, but in the GOP revisions, it somehow it all suddenly became about child molesters. In the words of Phil Dennison in the comments, "This is almost literally the equivalent of a high school student grabbing someone's textbooks or homework, crossing out that person's name in them, and writing "Fag" over and over."

He's right. The Republican party, who I used to from time to time make common cause on issues like government spending, taxes, minimally intrusive regulation, and the like, have never gotten over the smarmy prep-school smugness that marred the Gingrich years. You'd think that being in power would finally assuage their victim complex, but nooooo! It's "the liberals" this and "godless" that and "we're under attack on every front!" when the Presidency, both houses of Congress and at least 5/9ths of the Supreme Court are their folks. I mean, shit. At least we Red Sox fans had the good graces to shed the whole Our Lady Of Perpetual Angst schtick once we won the Series. But the Republican Party can't seem to stop. Bill Frist fulminates against the Godless. Tom DeLay plays funny with ethics rules. Rick Santorum... well, the less said about Dim Bulb Ricky, the better.

What's more is while changing the wording in every amendment on a bill is wildly funny in some locker-room contexts in high school, and might even arguably be construed as the feisty jabs of an underdog minority (see 1994), when you're the party in power, that kind of move means you're a prick and a bully. Power doesn't make you a prick; pricks prove themselves through power. Newt Gingrich: Prick. When he was in charge of the House, that was dazzingly obvious he was a giant prick. He even shut down the government by way of proving his prick credentials. Now that he's faded into the background, he might still be a prick but he's at least 50% less of a prick about it.

That such adolescent, disrespectful behavior ends up in the Congressional Record, entered there by the Committee Chairman (Sensenbrenner, in this case, not some no-name looking for street cred (or prick cred)) rather than being left among the table scraps of a hi-larious three martini lunch at the Hotel George means you're bordering on insane. So I don't give away the whole game, I urge you to go read Hilzoy's post to find out why Sensenbrenner felt it so important that the amendements be revised to read they way they do. It's a larf riot.