perfidy

Imagine you are a British poet moved by the Muse to pen a verse to the Prince of Wales and his longtime consort on the eve of their wedding. Imagine you wish to fete them with all the powers at your disposal.

What do you do? Sonnet? Rhyming quatrain? An epic? Blank verse?

Try an inadvertantly bitchy and unspeakably banal acrostic.

Valentine Fit For a King

C is for Charles our future King
H is filled with happiness he'll bring
A directs Cupid's arrow and her bow
R is for the ring, sparkly and fine
L languishes love, I hope he's sure this time
E brings eagerness now to marry
S unites special sons, William and Harry

C is for cheers and congratulations
A an able Duchess fine
M means marriage for a second time
I instils invitations, maybe flowing wine
L denotes the love I hope she feels for him
L is for logistics, she needs to say her grace
A arrange the future in this manic human race

God bless Charles and Camilla.

Do you think she meant to call into question the sincerity of their love for each other (twice!), or was she just filling out the meter? She's no Amiri Baraka , that's for sure.

Either way, she sure got a nice thank-you from Charles' office, and that's more than the State of New Jersey ever gave its poet laureate!

(link thanks to bookslut.)

[wik] Wait... Cupid's a chick now? And who knew about 9/11? I'm so confused...