Red Sox Win The Pennant; World Fails To End
Last night in the top of the 8th inning, just after Pedro Martinez had coughed up two runs only to suddenly transform himself into 1999 Pedro throwing unhittable heat for two crucial outs, and just before the Red Sox' lead edged over from "oshitoshitoshitoshit" to "omigodomigodomigod," I had a horrible thought. Right at that moment, somewhere on the Cross Bronx Expressway, angry men were plotting horrible things in a van and fantasizing about postmortem virgins. I was SURE-- POSITIVE-- that some horrible incident-- terrorists-- plane crash-- asteroid-- rough beasts slouching toward Bethlehem moving their slow thighs in agony-- the effing Rapture* (and I'm soooo not a millennial Christian)-- was seconds away. It's the greedy narcissism of the true believing sports fan, yet even knowing that I could not shake the feeling that something was going to go horribly, horribly wrong.
But guess what? I was wrong! It's only a game!
Ha. Ha ha. Ha hahaha. Ha, ha ha ha haha, Ha ha ha!
Best line: Matt Lauer on live (national?) feed with the Boston NBC affiliate, yakking about the game. Matt accepts Yankee defeat, Boston anchors accept victory. Just before feed is cut, female anchor holds up a "Boston Red Sox 2004 American League Champions" tee and says, "Hey Matt, we're sending you a shirt!"
Haw!
[wik] *All Red Sox fans know the number of the beast, if you believe in that kind of thing, is actually 3.
on
| § 5
§ 5 Comments
[ You're too late, comments are closed ]
Johno: the Red Sox beating
Johno: the Red Sox beating the Yankees or winning the pennant is only part of breaking the curse. They had already done as much in 1946, 1975 and 1986. There is still one challenge left.
... That is to say: STOP
... That is to say: STOP JINXING IT!
Shit, Nat. I know the Sox can
Shit, Nat. I know the Sox can't win the Series! I know for a FACT it will come down to game 7, inning 9, and something else awful will happen to add to the Big Book of Red Sox Pain. Do you think I haven't noticed that Carlos Beltran's name begins with a "B" just like the Babe, Bucky Dent, Bill Buckner, and Aaron Boone?! And that he plays for the same team Roger Clemens pitches for?! We're doomed... doomed!
But if a grand guignol disaster was going to befall the Band of Idiots, it was gonna happen in Yankee Stadium.
J,
J,
The world failed to end TODAY. So far. But it's early yet. Sometimes the Unfathomable Forces that Govern Our Universe (the UFGOU) are slow in settling these karmic accounts.
But settle them they do.
I'd spend the next couple nights in the Ministry bombshelter/catastratorium if I were you.
THEY WON! THEY WON! THEY WON!
THEY WON! THEY WON! THEY WON!