perfidy

Last week, I came across a story in the Wall Street Journal which referred to those very poor people who don't pay federal income tax as "Very Lucky Duckies." After windexing my monitor and calming myself down from a red rage, I was left to wonder if the author of said article found it painful to sit, seeing as his head seems permanently lodged in the intragluteal position. I mean, wow. You know what would be real great? To be homeless! Think about it... no job, no income, no obligations, no mortgage, no rent, no car payments, damn! No taxes at all! Now THAT'S a lucky ducky!! Yeeeeah!!! 

As an opinion, the Journal's assertion is monumentally retarded, and as a joke, it's not funny.

The New Republic reprints a letter to the WSJ which sums up the counter-argument better than my feeble gutter ranting ever could.

'LUCKY DUCKIE' INVITES EDITORS INTO HIS POND 

I am one of those lucky duckies, referred to in your June 3 editorial "Even Luckier Duckies" who pay little or nothing in federal income tax (at least by the standards of Wall Street Journal editors; $800 is more than a chunk of change to me). I am not, however, a stingy ducky, and I am willing to share my good fortune with others. 

In this spirit, I propose a trade. I will spend a year as a Wall Street Journal editor, while one lucky editor will spend a year in my underpaid shoes. I will receive an editor's salary, and suffer the outrage of paying federal income tax on that salary. The fortunate editor, on the other hand, will enjoy a relatively small federal income tax burden, as well as these other perks of near poverty: the gustatory delights of a diet rich in black beans, pinto beans, navy beans, chickpeas and, for a little variety, lentils; the thrill of scrambling to pay the rent or make the mortgage; the salutary effects of having no paid sick days; the slow satisfaction of saving up for months for a trip to the dentist; and the civic pride of knowing that, even as a lucky ducky, you still pay a third or more of your gross income in income taxes, payroll taxes, sales taxes and property taxes. 

I could go on and on, but I am sure your editors are already keen to jump at this opportunity to join the ranks of the undertaxed. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Pier Petersen Chicago

If I ever meet Pier Petersen, the (cheap) beer's on me! Although, I would point out that the occasional trip to the day-old-produce store does wonders to stave off the rickets.