perfidy

If I ruled the universe like I was rightfully born to do I would institute some hard-and-fast rules.
One is this: All celebrities who in my estimation outstay their welcome, by say, getting a daytime talk show after starring in Gigli and serial-marrying marginally talented hunks, will be summarily consigned to a facility run by Wolfgang Puck where they will be "repurposed" and fed to the next generation of studs and starlets.

This will make the universe a happier place, and Hollywood will run more efficiently, no longer forced to continue supporting vampiric fading stars. No more Carrot Top! No more Tara Reid! No more Osbournes. That Puck dude from The Real World who keeps hanging around would become that on which Jake Busey feeds. I'm so goddamn brilliant.